I feel a bit lonely today. I need a hug. I had a nice driving lesson this morning, I was really chilled and everything felt easy, I applied for a few more jobs and an apprenticeship and I went for a little bike ride. On the way home I saw John bishop, that scouse comedian, turns out he lives next door but one haha. But yeah, I wish I could just go and see her whenever, it’s boring here...
A quiz, as I haven't done one since myspace.
Yeah, I feel like myself again. :) I felt like melancholy was my default emotion for so long, but I’m content, I have a smile on my face more often than not, yay :) I can’t wait to visit the uni fam this week, I’ve missed writing with mike but a lack of time and ukulele means we’ll just be drinking, which isn’t a bad thing. haha. they are by far my favourite...
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Duvet is such a comfy word, doooveyyy. Operation ‘don’t eat anything’ didn’t quite go as planned, I really love food, it’s just unfortunate that I look like I really love food. My driving lesson went well, she’s still asking me to calm it doing 50 on a national speed limit road which is terribly annoying. The feeling of frustration really comes into...
I can’t wait to come and see you, I’m going to miss you. You looked beautiful yesterday. I’m going to walk into the village and get a paper, then wait for my driving lesson, I’m so excited :) my driving instructor is an old lady called Joan. Aesthetically she’s the last person you’d expect to to find teaching you, she’s really delicate and small, well...
I have missed you so. Finally found the box with my shisha pipe, whole packet of apple tobacco. Mmmmmmmmmmm. I also miss you; Mike, Ben, Hassan, Hannah, Cliodhna, Shevy, Sinead.
I thought I’d share the kodak moment I just had, sans photographic evidence. I was sweeping out the barn watching the swirls of dust in the rays coming through the windows, I knocked a plank over and loads of bright red butterflies dropped from the ceiling and fluttered around me. Into dust by mazzy star was playing in my ear and yeah, this is the coolest story ever, bro.
I fucking love this film, makes me want copious volumes heroin and a derelict building. Garlic bread? No thank you sir, I’ll proceed directly to the intravenous injection of hard drugs. The one word I wouldn’t choose to describe you is selfish, there’s nothing wrong with you. Quite the opposite infact. Maybe I’m being overly sentimental, trying to romanticise that which...
I’ve been thinking about my plans for this year a lot.. Dad says that once I get a job he’ll help me with the money for a mini and any parts I’ll need to buy. He’s built 3 himself so I’m really looking forward to spending more time with him and learning from him. Once it’s finished and I have my licence I’m going to go on a long trip, I hope to find...
Can’t see how lovely you are?
Calm after the storm
I got my ukulele out today, the first time in about a month, weird since I used to play it almost every day. The sounds makes me calm, let’s me forget. I’m sorry, I’ve been reaching out to you when you have enough problems of your own, I wish I could meet you again when we’re both happy, that would be nice.
Strawberry fields forever
I’m still trying to be a strong pillar, to support the roof that she might need, incase the rain comes. But I’m worn by the weather, I have cracks but only I know how deep they run. I knew she still missed him, but it seems stronger now. I can try all I want but it’s not helping. I’ll never be him, why did I let her so close? She knew I’d want her. I always thought...
With each brush stroke this new canvas is filling up, I’m not sure what this is going to turn out to be just yet. Oh, what can you do with a sentimental heart? Piece of the puzzle, you’re my missing part. I must just be scared of the disappointment, I can smell it’s stench from afar, it’s a familiar scent.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
The pace in which I’ve fallen is ridiculous. I’m not sure if this is all in my head, because nothing has happened. But Jesus… that girl. Edit: thinking rationally; it wouldn’t work, because I’ve been a cunt in yesteryear and you are far too good.
You live your life like a page from the book of my fantasy.
The crowd blurs around me. The music and the whisky numb every sense, she’s right there, I’ve craved her. I’m nervous but I can’t slow the momentum, she’s closer now. The touch of her lips, it’s the same. Her hair smells just the way I remember. We’re running away, I’d pinch myself but I can’t let go of her hand, I wouldn’t want to...
Thou shalt not fall in love so easily.
I moved into a new house almost 3 weeks ago now, it’s near a beautiful village and I’m surrounded by countryside, we have barns and outbuildings and 4 acres of fields. i feel like i should take more photos of this place, but I don’t love it yet, my home is still in Warrington, I grew up there. I think in my head I still live there. I realise now that a place, for me at least,...
I think it’d be a lot easier to sleep at night if my thoughts had some kind of volume adjustment. Anyway. I thought about her for the first time for a while today, I didn’t cry like I used to when it was all still raw. Looking back I think I must have hated her, she held me back from what and who I truly wanted, I felt obliged to stay with her, like it was contractual. It was fun...
V is for; I'veneverdonethisbefore.
Ideally I’d be posting something thought provoking and self satisfyingly artsy for my first post but I figure I may as well introduce myself before we get down and dirty. My name is Ash, I live in the north of England, I’d tell you more about myself but I haven’t the faintest idea of who I am anymore, I guess we can learn together or some shit.